Adrian
"Reclaim/ re-appropriation. I’m a trans masc non binary. It takes me a lot to face how much of my art I’ve silenced in order to make my creativity work/ at work even if for the cis system (both academic and artistic one).
It takes me a lot, at 38 yo, accept that I can crate a new portfolio and try again. It’s about me.I'm good at my job of brand identity of others, of cis, I'm as good as I've been for years at escaping from my self-narration. now it's an emergency. it's my second coming out. I exist as a trans person. I exist as an artist. So far cis publishing with their corrections and their requests and their binarism has made me an avoidant person.
Only last Christmas I realized that I don't have to have overcome all my frailties and fears and alibis to be able to recreate my portfolio. If I didn't answer your call it would be helping that cis gaze to keep me deprived of art, deprived of myself, and all these hormones would be just the illusion of being able to exist."
"I learned how to survive as a trans child, trans friend, trans partner, trans colleague. Now I live as Adrian.
I always felt I had to protect my art from the cis gaze, when I realized I was just hiding, again, a piece of me, I feared it was too late. Too old for a new portfolio. Too old and too trans and too little social.
When I started taking hormones it seemed late, very late. Yet I had to live and it's never too late to live.
Starting my portfolio album was like opening the first box of testosterone. I found myself and I can't go back. And I can't help but hope to continue as I am, with my queer body and queer art.
I did it my way is the name of my first project after years of self-exile from myself."
